Introvert vs. Extrovert

I was watching my rambuncious 2 year old streak back and forth across the waiting room at the vet's office today, wishing he would stick with me and hold me hand. It occurred to me that if he was indeed standing next to me, quietly, holding my hand, he would be a very different person.

I dislike being introverted. It often manifests into feeling less than confident and shy and withdrawn. None are happy traits that I value. I wonder if I started out this way or if I was raised this way. It's no secret that my parents always treated me like a "little adult" and thus they were more likely to expect me to be the child who stood quietly and held their hands. My sister however, who is very much an extrovert, was raised to be a kid. She was given more leeway to behave like a kid. It seems to me that these two different approaches, in an otherwise similar upbringing, likely defined where we would each fall on the introvert/extrovert spectrum.

In thinking about what I would want for my son, it seems obvious that extroversion is a better trait for a man. I don't wish for him to grow up being selfish and oblivious to those around him, but being outgoing, confident, friendly, and not afraid to take a risk would serve a young man well in his career, finding a mate, etc. Being introverted, however, would cause him to miss out on a lot of opportunities upon life's journey.

When sharing this thought with my husband, his response was simply, "You only have one spirit to crush." There's a good bit of wisdom in that. We only get one chance to mold Grant into the person he will become. He can either encourage him to be confident and outgoing, or we can insist he behave as a small adult and stunt his enthusiasm and zest for life.

I think I will be seeing him run around a lot more places and waiting rooms over the next few years. We can certainly teach him respect and appreciation of those around him, so that he isn't a self centered caveman. But expecting him to live with every hair in place, every reaction measured and every little boy outburst quickly contained is no way to bring up a vivacious boy.

I'm glad to have realized this early on.