I don't work

I called my bank today to check mortgage rates and ask a few questions about refinancing since rates have come down a good bit since we originally bought our home. The nice lady who took my call answered some of my questions but wanted a little information from me to give me thorough answers. At one point she asked if I worked. I told her I was a stay at home mom and that my husband ran his own law practice. We continued on with our conversation.

Then, after giving her permission to check my credit score so she could give me an accurate quote, she noted that there was another small mortgage on my credit report and I told her that was my townhouse I had bought while in college, 15+ years ago. It's now a rental that pays for itself, so I didn't think it would impact refinancing my primary home. She sounded shocked that I had attended college and actually asked "So, you have a college degree and don't work?"....um, 2 degrees actually m'am.

I had to chuckle. Of course I work. My day starts around 7:30 am and lately ends around 10:30pm when my little guy finally goes to sleep. It's the lowest paying job I've ever had, and has the longest hours, but it's the most rewarding and enjoyable job I've ever had...and I LOVE my co-workers. I'm sure my degrees help on some days, but most days my primary qualification for the job is the heart that God gave me, not the degrees from FSU.

So, I just told the nice lady that I worked in my chosen career field for more than a decade and then had the most wonderful little boy and changed my career to being his mom. She still seemed surprised. I'm surprised to find someone who finds it odd that I stay home with my son. There's no place I'd rather be.

Growing up

So today my little one showed his appreciation. And broke my heart. How does one do that all at once?

I was wearing a tank top and leaned over to put Grant's shoes on, and he reached out and put his hand on the top of one of my breasts/upper chest area. He quietly, unprompted, whispered "I love you too Mommy."

My husband's first response was that this was obviously a sign that it was time to wean and perhaps it was an inappropriate behavior. However, given that my child stays home with me, has never been exposed to any inappropriate behaviors like that and is unaware that breasts serve any function other than providing milk, I don't think for a minute that his touch and words were anything but appreciation.

The little guy knows that mommy's breasts bring comfort and love to his life. His response is to love me "too." It is the most endearing and heart wrenching moment I have yet to experience as a mom. It shows a level of understanding and awakening, as a caring and thoughtful human being. We have seen little signs of compassion lately, but this was very different for me. I suppose that is because it was so personal and was about something that was so intimate and shared between just the two of us.

So tonight I am weepy. This very special thing between the two of us is drawing to a close. It's time. He is 33 months old today. Knowing that doesn't make it any less bittersweet. I will miss my baby and being able to make everything right in his world simply by nursing him.

History in the sky

Before I forget, because Craig wanted this in Grant's "baby book," with his very own 2 year old eyes, Grant saw the Ares 1-x launch today.

Since we live in central Florida we have the luxury of watching shuttles and rockets launch, while standing in our driveway. We actually have a really nice view once they are 10 miles up or so.

Today (well, it's after midnight now, so technically yesterday), a few blocks from home, getting onto the 408E, you could see the large firey contrails of the new shuttle as it headed towards the atmosphere. This one was unmanned, as it was a test launch...but it is likely the key to the future of our NASA shuttle program.

Grant was sitting patiently in his car seat as we pointed the shuttle out to him...watching history in the making.

26 months and counting

Just a quick note and update on what my little man is doing:

He knows many animal names and their coordinating sound:
Cows = Moo
Owl = Who
Sheep = Baa
Dogs = woof
Cats = E-oww
Monkeys = ah-ah-ah
Lions = roar
and the best of all is his elephant impression, Efefafants = brrrrrrrrtttttttt (as he scrunches up his eyes and throws his head back and tries to trumpet like an elephant.)

His favorite tv shows are:
Blues Clues
Wow Wow Wubzy
High Five
Super Why
Little Bear
and he'll still watch Jack's Big Music Show from time to time

His favorite foods are:
french fries
chicken nuggets
macaroni and cheese
hot dogs
pizza
waffles
cheese (all types, string, shreds, cubes, slices)
yogurt
jello
sweet potatos (and most any pureed veggies as he prefers babyfood veggies still at least in texture)
quesadillas
fruits of all types (bananas, peaches, nectarines, strawberries, grapes, etc.)
and he drinks watered down juice by the gallon

Most recently he's started putting sentences together. Not just multiple words, but generally a noun and verb. His favorites are to say "da-ee wait!," "meme wait!," "da-ee, I uv you," and "meme, I uv you."

He is also great at giving directions. He is constantly saying "that way" or "in there." It's particularly adorable if you are driving past one of the restaurants we often frequent and ask him if he's hungry. He's very likely to say "in there" and point at the restaurant as his way of assuring you that he knows food can be had at that location.

And, back on October 10th, he finally got his first hair cut. There is a wonderful barber shop on Lake Ella in Tallahassee. It's where all the good old boys go to get a genuine, no frills, cut. They specialize in flat tops and crew cuts and that special hair cut all politicians seem to have. They have pictures all over the tiny shop of former governors, politicos, sports figures, etc, thanking them for the cut. Craig, Dillon, Grant and I walked in and asked if they did first cuts or toddler cuts. They assured us it was no big deal and sat Grant on a board, across my lap, and then with speed that would have put Edward Scissorhands to shame, they chopped off all his baby locks. He had grown these angelic curling feathers on the sides of his head, and this crazy, billy ray mullet in the back. He left the shop looking like a dapper little boy instead of a whimsical toddler. His dad and big brother got hair cuts at the same time. A great first hair cut experience without the silliness of airplane seats and balloon animals.

He is a loving and affectionate little boy who is crazy about learning all the time. He has a huge heart filled with kindness and compassion and loves to bounce on his daddy in the morning when he first wakes up. As with any 2 year old, listening and compliance aren't always top on his list of priorities, but if given a task or job, he often will take enough pride in that, that he can be depended on.

First words

I've mentioned before that Grant said the word "hungry" at about 10 weeks old consistently...we even have it on video. He's consistently done other things pretty early on such as learning his letters. It looks like we have another milestone for the record..er, baby...book.

This morning, while daddy is off in Tallahassee to go to a football game with big brother D, we did a video chat with the PS3. Grant is pretty shy and overwhelmed with this technology right now but we are hoping he gets used to it so we can chat with D all the time. This morning, his difficulty being comfortable with the video chat led to him throwing his toys outside of his play area. He threw several small toys and an entire stack of alphabet flash cards. So, in an effort to draw him into productive conversation and behavior, I started asking him to tell me what letters were on flash cards as I picked them up. At one point he insisted on holding a flash card. I asked him what letter was on it and he said "Y." He then went on to say what at first sounded like "yellow." However, when I looked at the example picture on the flash card, it was a Yo-yo. Grant says "yellow" as "yhell-yo." Since the yo-yo picture on the card was red, there was no reason for him to be saying the word 'yellow' and I have to assume he was saying the word 'yo-yo.' However, yo-yo is not a word we have taught him or a toy we use with him...we're not living in the 70's after all.

We'll never know if he actually read that word or not...but it would not be shocking since there are only two letters in the word and he knows them both. The Super Why show he likes often teaches phonetics and letter sounds. So, anything is possible.

Introvert vs. Extrovert

I was watching my rambuncious 2 year old streak back and forth across the waiting room at the vet's office today, wishing he would stick with me and hold me hand. It occurred to me that if he was indeed standing next to me, quietly, holding my hand, he would be a very different person.

I dislike being introverted. It often manifests into feeling less than confident and shy and withdrawn. None are happy traits that I value. I wonder if I started out this way or if I was raised this way. It's no secret that my parents always treated me like a "little adult" and thus they were more likely to expect me to be the child who stood quietly and held their hands. My sister however, who is very much an extrovert, was raised to be a kid. She was given more leeway to behave like a kid. It seems to me that these two different approaches, in an otherwise similar upbringing, likely defined where we would each fall on the introvert/extrovert spectrum.

In thinking about what I would want for my son, it seems obvious that extroversion is a better trait for a man. I don't wish for him to grow up being selfish and oblivious to those around him, but being outgoing, confident, friendly, and not afraid to take a risk would serve a young man well in his career, finding a mate, etc. Being introverted, however, would cause him to miss out on a lot of opportunities upon life's journey.

When sharing this thought with my husband, his response was simply, "You only have one spirit to crush." There's a good bit of wisdom in that. We only get one chance to mold Grant into the person he will become. He can either encourage him to be confident and outgoing, or we can insist he behave as a small adult and stunt his enthusiasm and zest for life.

I think I will be seeing him run around a lot more places and waiting rooms over the next few years. We can certainly teach him respect and appreciation of those around him, so that he isn't a self centered caveman. But expecting him to live with every hair in place, every reaction measured and every little boy outburst quickly contained is no way to bring up a vivacious boy.

I'm glad to have realized this early on.

Cheesey pants

or would that be cheesy pants? How does one spell "cheesy" anyway?

My dear and delightful son adores cheese. He demands it in most every form...string cheese, cheese slices, shredded cheese by the handfuls, melted cheese in quesadillas, etc. It's one of the few foods he will ask for by name. (The other food he routinely asks for by name is Eggs.)

For dinner the other night, after refusing several other dinner options, I gave in to his demands for cheese. I pulled out the giant, Sam's Club, bag of shredded cheese and scattered a handful onto his highchair tray. I then resumed whatever kitchen drudgery I had been working on while Grant relished his cheese.

I swear I only turned my back for a few minutes, when suddenly I noticed how quiet Grant had gotten. I peeked over at him only to discover that all the cheese I had given him was gone. Upon closer inspection I found he had crammed most of it in his diaper.

Saving it for later perhaps?